I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
