I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Who did Billy Mays play for?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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