I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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