Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
