Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Acid is not a monday night drug
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
