Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
