everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
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Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
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I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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