If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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