Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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