Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You ate ashes out of my bong
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
