another moral hangover. fuck.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
