he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
