so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
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She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
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There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME