He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
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I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way