Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises