May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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