Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
