It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
