i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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