Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
