so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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