That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
