no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
