he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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