I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
True strength comes from lack of pants
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
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