just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
