even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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