Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
