what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
