Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize