You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
