I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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