Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
