He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This baby is an asshole
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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