The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We have started to decorate penises.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
