last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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