I hope mine doesn't look like that
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
