Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize