Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
