There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
