Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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