Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
