The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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