Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
