just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
