office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
