You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize