So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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