do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
