Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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