it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
