so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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