They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
