problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
