oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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