Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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