Is it because I queefed?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
