Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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