i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
