no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
