I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
