Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
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Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
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and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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