cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
