She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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